If Gaza Falls…

My mother emailed this to me today and I wanted to post it on here.

There is no excuse for the indiscriminite firing of rockets into Israel. There is, equally, no excuse for how the Israelis have treated Palestinians in Gaza. It is not merely the casualities (on both sides) of this most recent escalation that should piss you off. After reading this, you may have a better understanding of the destitution and utter hopelessness many in Gaza Strip feel every day.

I will say, I disagree with final idea Ms. Roy mentions in her piece that follows. The West Bank, while not a perfect place to live, is administered by the Palestinian Authority. Certainly not without fault, the PA has made peace with its neighbor an issue, while Hamas never has. In direct response to Israel’s latest attacks of Gaza, the firing of rockets has increased; proof Hamas has at least some awareness, if not tacit approval, of one of the biggest active issues Israel has with the organization (besides, of course, Hamas’ continues call for the destruction of Israel).

This said, Israel is at fault as much as Hamas is for severely restricting food, medicine, fuel, santitation, banking – basically EVERYTHING you and I take for granted. The United States can’t sit on its hands while Israel purposefully creates suffering in Gaza in the hopes of… In the hopes of what? Showing its muscles? Proving a point? Telling conservatibves in the country to vote for them?

We ALL know now that the poverty and lawlessness created by such conditions only fosters extremism. Look at Afghanistan. Look at Somalia. Now look at Gaza. These are people trying to live their lives while a few in control make things a living hell because they ALSO want to prove a point.

Hamas and Israel are both equally to blame. Do I have a solution? No. But then this is what I know. There are people who know a LOT more and it’s time for THEM to step up. Hamas knows what they are doing as does Israel. If they both really have the good of their own people in mind, and aren’t just trying to prove who has the bigger dick, then they will stop what they are doing and work on making things better for both of their peoples.

If Gaza Falls . . .
Sara Roy
London Review of Books

Israel’s siege of Gaza began on 5 November, the day after an Israeli attack inside the strip, no doubt
designed finally to undermine the truce between Israel and Hamas established last June. Although both sides had violated the agreement before, this incursion was on a different scale. Hamas responded by firing rockets into Israel and the violence has not abated since then.

Israel’s siege has two fundamental goals. One is to ensure that the Palestinians there are seen merely as a humanitarian problem, beggars who have no political identity and therefore can have no political claims. The second is to foist Gaza onto Egypt. That is why the Israelis tolerate the hundreds of tunnels between Gaza and Egypt around which an informal but increasingly regulated commercial sector has begun to form. The overwhelming majority of Gazans are impoverished and officially 49.1 per cent are unemployed. In fact the prospect of steady employment is rapidly disappearing for the majority of the population.

On 5 November the Israeli government sealed all the ways into and out of Gaza. Food, medicine, fuel, parts for water and sanitation systems, fertiliser, plastic sheeting, phones, paper, glue, shoes and even teacups are no longer getting through in sufficient quantities or at all. According to Oxfam only 137 trucks of food were allowed into Gaza in November. This means that an average of 4.6 trucks per day entered the strip compared to an average of 123 in October this year and 564 in December 2005. The two main food providers in Gaza are the UN Relief and Works Agency for Palestine Refugees in
the Near East (UNRWA) and the World Food Programme (WFP). UNRWA alone feeds approximately 750,000 people in Gaza, and requires 15 trucks of food daily to do so. Between 5 November and 30 November, only 23 trucks arrived, around 6 per cent of the total needed; during the week of 30 November it received 12 trucks, or 11 per cent of what was required. There were three days in
November when UNRWA ran out of food, with the result that on each of these days 20,000 people were unable to receive their scheduled supply. According to John Ging, the director of UNRWA in Gaza, most of the people who get food aid are entirely dependent on it. On 18 December UNRWA suspended all food distribution for both emergency and regular programmes because of the blockade.

The WFP has had similar problems, sending only 35 trucks out of the 190 it had scheduled to cover Gazans’ needs until the start of February (six more were allowed in between 30 November and 6 December). Not only that: the WFP has to pay to store food that isn’t being sent to Gaza. This cost $215,000 in November alone. If the siege continues, the WFP will have to pay an extra $150,000
for storage in December, money that will be used not to support Palestinians but to benefit Israeli business.

The majority of commercial bakeries in Gaza – 30 out of 47 – have had to close because they have run out of cooking gas. People are using any fuel they can find to cook with. As the UN Food and Agriculture Organisation (FAO) has made clear, cooking-gas canisters are necessary for generating the warmth to incubate broiler chicks. Shortages of gas and animal feed have forced commercial producers to smother hundreds of thousands of chicks. By April, according to the FAO, there will be no poultry there at all: 70 per cent of Gazans rely on chicken as a major source of protein.

Banks, suffering from Israeli restrictions on the transfer of banknotes into the territory were forced to
close on 4 December. A sign on the door of one read:

`Due to the decision of the Palestinian Finance Authority, the bank will be closed today Thursday,
4.12.2008, because of the unavailability of cash money, and the bank will be reopened once the cash money is available.’

The World Bank has warned that Gaza’s banking system could collapse if these restrictions continue. All cash for work programmes has been stopped and on 19 November UNRWA suspended its cash assistance programme to the most needy. It also ceased production of textbooks because there is no paper, ink or glue in Gaza. This will affect 200,000 students returning to school in the new year. On 11 December, the Israeli defence minister, Ehud Barak, sent $25 million following an appeal from the Palestinian prime minister, Salaam Fayad, the first infusion of its kind since October. It won’t even cover
a month’s salary for Gaza’s 77,000 civil servants.

On 13 November production at Gaza’s only power station was suspended and the turbines shut down because it had run out of industrial diesel. This in turn caused the two turbine batteries to run down, and they failed to start up again when fuel was received some ten days later. About a hundred spare parts ordered for the turbines have been sitting in the port of Ashdod in Israel for the last eight months, waiting for the Israeli authorities to let them through customs. Now Israel has started to auction these parts because they have been in customs for more than 45 days. The proceeds are being held in Israeli accounts.

During the week of 30 November, 394,000 litres of industrial diesel were allowed in for the power plant:
approximately 18 per cent of the weekly minimum that Israel is legally obliged to allow in. It was enough for one turbine to run for two days before the plant was shut down again. The Gaza Electricity Distribution Company said that most of the Gaza Strip will be without electricity for between four and 12 hours a day. At any given time during these outages, over 65,000 people have no electricity.

No other diesel fuel (for standby generators and transport) was delivered during that week, no petrol
(which has been kept out since early November) or cooking gas. Gaza’s hospitals are apparently relying on diesel and gas smuggled from Egypt via the tunnels; these supplies are said to be administered and taxed by Hamas. Even so, two of Gaza’s hospitals have been out of cooking gas since the week of 23 November.

Adding to the problems caused by the siege are those created by the political divisions between the
Palestinian Authority in the West Bank and the Hamas Authority in Gaza. For example, Gaza’s Coastal
Municipalities Water Utility (CMWU), which is not controlled by Hamas, is supposed to receive funds from
the World Bank via the Palestinian Water Authority (PWA) in Ramallah to pay for fuel to run the pumps for Gaza’s sewage system. Since June, the PWA has refused to hand over those funds, perhaps because it feels that a functioning sewage system would benefit Hamas. I don’t know whether the World Bank has attempted to intervene, but meanwhile UNRWA is providing the fuel, although they
have no budget for it. The CMWU has also asked Israel’s permission to import 200 tons of chlorine, but by the end of November it had received only 18 tons – enough for one week of chlorinated water. By mid-December Gaza City and the north of Gaza had access to water only six hours every three days.

According to the World Health Organisation, the political divisions between Gaza and the West Bank are
also having a serious impact on drug stocks in Gaza. The West Bank Ministry of Health (MOH) is responsible for procuring and delivering most of the pharmaceuticals and medical disposables used in Gaza. But stocks are at dangerously low levels. Throughout November the MOH West Bank was turning shipments away because it had no warehouse space, yet it wasn’t sending supplies on to Gaza in adequate quantities. During the week of 30 November, one truck carrying drugs and medical supplies
from the MOH in Ramallah entered Gaza, the first delivery since early September.

The breakdown of an entire society is happening in front of us, but there is little international response beyond UN warnings which are ignored. The European Union announced recently that it wanted to strengthen its relationship with Israel while the Israeli leadership openly calls for a large-scale invasion of the Gaza Strip and continues its economic stranglehold over the territory with, it appears, the not-so-tacit support of the Palestinian Authority in Ramallah – which has been co-operating with Israel on a number of measures. On 19 December Hamas officially ended its truce with Israel, which Israel said it wanted to renew, because of Israel’s failure to ease the blockade.

How can keeping food and medicine from the people of Gaza protect the people of Israel? How can the
impoverishment and suffering of Gaza’s children – more than 50 per cent of the population – benefit anyone? International law as well as human decency demands their protection. If Gaza falls, the West Bank will be next.

Sara Roy teaches at Harvard’s Center for Middle Eastern
Studies and is the author of Failing Peace: Gaza and the
Palestinian-Israeli Conflict.

They won’t let me climb mountains

This was a little stream of consciousness…

“They won’t let me climb mountains…”

A short quote, but one that impacts me on different levels.

Anyone who has ever been denied an opportunity for which they have the right, anyone who has been supressed, marginalized, overlooked or outright ignored has felt the sentiment those few words convey.

The lesbian couple who can’t have their marriage recognized, the black man discreetly passed up for a promotion, the poor high school student who knows college is a pipe dream no matter what grades she gets, the farm worker who huddles in a shack after 15 hours of labor hoping he’ll get paid this week so he can send money home to his wife and kids… All of them want to yell those words.

This is the world we live in.

As Americans we are force fed marketing gimmicks, fear mongering and a false sense of security through credit. I think it’s ridiculous to say there is a grand plan to keep this country full of sheep but there is a destructive force created by the melding of consumerism, entertainment and economic and military superiority. It is human to rest on laurels. We have become too… sated. Once in a while, we are poked and prodded to scare us into this direction or that one. And in that, I find the only overt malevolence.

No wonder I had to explain to a gay white guy why people wear Obama shirts, or revere Selina or have holidays that aren’t celebrated by most people in the US.

He’s comfortable.

He doesn’t feel the need to learn. He has surrounded himself with people just like him. They all agree. Why bother? I’m sure people he meets that are nothing like him are either uninteresting, scary or pushed out of his mind by Britney’s new song or the shoes his friend just bought (and that he MUST have).

I have more respect for my conservative friends who may not understand me being gay, but by God they have every intention of accepting the fact that I am and even though it’s a million miles from who they are, they plan on keeping me in their lives. What I am nausiated by is people who have it good ENOUGH. Good enough so they don’t feel the need to be better. Good enough so they don’t feel the need to experience new things or people or places. Good enough so that they think they are BETTER. Because God forbid someone makes them look NOT good enough.

So they bash you for your religion. They bash you for your clothes. They bash you for your success. They bash you for your openness. They bash you for your skin color or who you love. They bash you for your SELF. You would make them look bad otherwise. So they are gonna take you a notch down.

And what are you gonna do?

You are gonna help them climb mountains.

Life Update

So a lot of you know my life almost completely consists of working at the bar, almost to the exclusion of all else. It’s a choice I made for various reasons but it’s not an end in and of itself. I’m currently in an application process for financial aid for school. I’m applying to two schools, one in NYC and one in SF. My job has been good for me if no other reasons than helping me make a good amount of money to put aside and to keep me so tired I can’t go shopping LOL

Seriously though… I have another 6 to 8 months of saving up to go and that’s regardless of how much financial aid I’m capable of getting. I know most of you at most see me either when you go out or just here online. I hate to say this, but that’s how it’s going to be for the first half of 2009. I’m still not used to it though, even after working in bars for a few years now.

Initially I got a job at Guava to keep me out of trouble 3 years ago or so. And I got comfortable with the routine. I’ve been at JR’s for a year now and there were definitely trade offs, some of which I hated but some of which I loved. But I see some of my coworkers already settled in their lives and I can’t see how that would happen with me given the number of hours and the crazy time when I’m scheduled (ask anyone who works in a bar). But now instead of just working to have the job I’ve been using it to get me to a career. You either come into this settled or you don’t settle at all. Obviously I can’t stay in this industry forever.

After questioning for YEARS who I was, what I want to do, which followed years of dodging all of it, I’m seeing 35 in a couple months and it’s a sign post that will knock me flat on my ass if I don’t do something. I’ve flirted with the idea of cosmetology before, mainly because I have the personality for it and an interest… enough of one, anyway, to dive in and go with the flow.

I’m mostly beyond the self-chastising I’ve had going on for the last couple of years. That I had wasted my time, that I had been aimless, too self-indulgent, too uninterested in what was actually important, other than how to make myself feel good at the moment… The one thing I say to myself now is “Prove it”. A heartfelt, well-written (or maybe not) little blog entry has rarely been more than a list of wishes and in that vein, I don’t expect some of you who really truely know me well to see this as more than a expression of what I want and not necessarily what I will acheive.

I have thought on this much. In fact it’s made me question the need to even write this, since I could just DO IT and then write about it. But to me I’m throwing down the gauntlet. There is no “if I do this” or not.

What are you?

More ramblings…

What do you call yourself? To you, what is a more accurate and complete identifier?

Would you say without hesitation “gay” or “Christian” or “34 years old”. Would you first say “woman”, “middle class”, “Mexican-American”, or “father”.

To some this may seem like an unimportant question, but I find that asking helps me put perspective on circumstances. Which of the following hats will I put on when I am faced with a challenge or a decision? Do I first think “How would I as a gay man respond to this?” Or do I say trade the word gay for white man, working class, American, liberal, second generation immigrant, recovering addict, star trek fan, almost 35 year old or do I even consider how having a 31 inch inseam might color my reaction?

All these pieces float around in my head dueling for a better place in the heirarchy that is my identity. Small decisions I can always relegate to their respective compartments. Obviously I’d rather watch Voyager than Tia Tequila. But what about the bigger issues?

How do these different pieces compare when I think of how to think? Given a complex situation where neither (or any) of the outcomes are perfect, what guides me to the best direction? What is important to me when I form an opinion? Do I try to focus on the visceral or do I try to look down from an ivory tower?

Let me take two issues that come to mind. Neither is easily resolved, and in this I am not even trying for that. My goal is to reflect on the parts of me that weigh in, not the weighing, as it were.

Abortion. The Israeli-Arab conflict. Name others equally contentious, it doesn’t matter.

I know the pros and cons, the stances people take, and I know they are felt with equal fervor despite being diametrically opposed at times. And I could argue from any point of view I may have. The star trek fan in me could talk about the final status of Jeruselum and the recovering addict could talk about abortion, believe it or not. But those voices, and all others save one are drowned out by a simple desire. I want the best possible outcome.

This is the point where I realize what my prime motivator is. The most important part of me: I am human. Maybe if we learn that dolphins have their own version of wikipedia or an intelligent being from Alpha Centauri joins Facebook I’ll need to look beyond, but until then I realize that being a man, being an American, being white, being gay, even being somewhat intelligent and funny all rank far below that simple fact.

Why?

It’s been my belief for a long time that humans have a greater potential for empathy than we tend to exercise. I won’t go into why that is (though I have written tangentially about it before). Empathy is not a uniquely human trait but in us it is most, though not fully, developed. Having empathy, actually practicing it, this is what I aim for. I think if we all did our best to do so we would have a lot of these issues resolved. Indeed, we would all live in a better world, one we all consciously chose as a better place for everyone, not just ourselves, to live in.

It is important for each of us to honor what makes each of us different. It is equally important recognize and salute the differences in others.

I am SUCH an asshole…

Today… tonight… I’m gonna talk about the stupidest question I’ve been asked recently. And yes kids, there is such a thing as a stupid question. Stupid questions are asked by stupid people. You see the connection. I have to be stoned to be stupid, others just need to be awake. Anyway, the question… Yesterday at work I was asked why I was single.

Sometimes when I’m asked that I just wanna ask the question back. Sometimes I want to explain. Sometimes I want to say “just because you think you’re life would be better if you were as pretty as me doesn’t mean it would be”

Case in point, me.

If nothing else, I have to put up with stupid questions. That pretty much makes me suffer as much as the person asking, though I am being annoyed to tears and they are just plodding through life scaring children with their looks.

I am FULLY aware this point of view makes me seem like a self-absorbed pompous little asshole. But I am being driven to it and I lay blame squarely on the shoulders of men who don’t have a better pick up line then “So why are you single?”

I am considering telling people, in answer, why I believe THEY are single. Perhaps then they can come to a conclusion on their own.

But alas, even acting obnoxious doesn’t stop the leering of a man with nothing to lose on the off chance someone might say fuck it and decide to respond positively to saliva dripping from the corner of his denture-filled mouth.

If I had not reconciled long ago that society does not deem a fist to the jaw as an appropriate response to annoying people I think there would be a trail of broken jaws in my wake some nights.

All I can say is thank GOD I am getting older so that I get looked as less often.

I just need to get a boyfriend before no one looks at me anymore.

And ALL THIS SAID, I’d rather complain about this than the opposite problem, not being looked at AT ALL.

Everything has a down side I suppose, but at least the silver lining of being attractive is being attractive.