Today… tonight… I’m gonna talk about the stupidest question I’ve been asked recently. And yes kids, there is such a thing as a stupid question. Stupid questions are asked by stupid people. You see the connection. I have to be stoned to be stupid, others just need to be awake. Anyway, the question… Yesterday at work I was asked why I was single.

Sometimes when I’m asked that I just wanna ask the question back. Sometimes I want to explain. Sometimes I want to say “just because you think you’re life would be better if you were as pretty as me doesn’t mean it would be”

Case in point, me.

If nothing else, I have to put up with stupid questions. That pretty much makes me suffer as much as the person asking, though I am being annoyed to tears and they are just plodding through life scaring children with their looks.

I am FULLY aware this point of view makes me seem like a self-absorbed pompous little asshole. But I am being driven to it and I lay blame squarely on the shoulders of men who don’t have a better pick up line then “So why are you single?”

I am considering telling people, in answer, why I believe THEY are single. Perhaps then they can come to a conclusion on their own.

But alas, even acting obnoxious doesn’t stop the leering of a man with nothing to lose on the off chance someone might say fuck it and decide to respond positively to saliva dripping from the corner of his denture-filled mouth.

If I had not reconciled long ago that society does not deem a fist to the jaw as an appropriate response to annoying people I think there would be a trail of broken jaws in my wake some nights.

All I can say is thank GOD I am getting older so that I get looked as less often.

I just need to get a boyfriend before no one looks at me anymore.

And ALL THIS SAID, I’d rather complain about this than the opposite problem, not being looked at AT ALL.

Everything has a down side I suppose, but at least the silver lining of being attractive is being attractive.