More ramblings…

What do you call yourself? To you, what is a more accurate and complete identifier?

Would you say without hesitation “gay” or “Christian” or “34 years old”. Would you first say “woman”, “middle class”, “Mexican-American”, or “father”.

To some this may seem like an unimportant question, but I find that asking helps me put perspective on circumstances. Which of the following hats will I put on when I am faced with a challenge or a decision? Do I first think “How would I as a gay man respond to this?” Or do I say trade the word gay for white man, working class, American, liberal, second generation immigrant, recovering addict, star trek fan, almost 35 year old or do I even consider how having a 31 inch inseam might color my reaction?

All these pieces float around in my head dueling for a better place in the heirarchy that is my identity. Small decisions I can always relegate to their respective compartments. Obviously I’d rather watch Voyager than Tia Tequila. But what about the bigger issues?

How do these different pieces compare when I think of how to think? Given a complex situation where neither (or any) of the outcomes are perfect, what guides me to the best direction? What is important to me when I form an opinion? Do I try to focus on the visceral or do I try to look down from an ivory tower?

Let me take two issues that come to mind. Neither is easily resolved, and in this I am not even trying for that. My goal is to reflect on the parts of me that weigh in, not the weighing, as it were.

Abortion. The Israeli-Arab conflict. Name others equally contentious, it doesn’t matter.

I know the pros and cons, the stances people take, and I know they are felt with equal fervor despite being diametrically opposed at times. And I could argue from any point of view I may have. The star trek fan in me could talk about the final status of Jeruselum and the recovering addict could talk about abortion, believe it or not. But those voices, and all others save one are drowned out by a simple desire. I want the best possible outcome.

This is the point where I realize what my prime motivator is. The most important part of me: I am human. Maybe if we learn that dolphins have their own version of wikipedia or an intelligent being from Alpha Centauri joins Facebook I’ll need to look beyond, but until then I realize that being a man, being an American, being white, being gay, even being somewhat intelligent and funny all rank far below that simple fact.

Why?

It’s been my belief for a long time that humans have a greater potential for empathy than we tend to exercise. I won’t go into why that is (though I have written tangentially about it before). Empathy is not a uniquely human trait but in us it is most, though not fully, developed. Having empathy, actually practicing it, this is what I aim for. I think if we all did our best to do so we would have a lot of these issues resolved. Indeed, we would all live in a better world, one we all consciously chose as a better place for everyone, not just ourselves, to live in.

It is important for each of us to honor what makes each of us different. It is equally important recognize and salute the differences in others.

Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)